Divorce is very difficult for adults, but it can be even tougher on your children. Especially difficult when the other parent will not allow contact with your children and are waiting for the Courts intervention.
I like to suggest to my clients when they are denied access to their children to write letters. When your child receives a letter from a parent it can be MAGIC!
Each letter your child receives from you is a unique and definite expression of your love, delight, shared aspirations and desires you have for their future.
Leverage Technology! Use technology to show your child that they were never far from your thoughts and always in your heart. Here are some suggestions:
1. Create an email account. You can write letters, small notes, and pictures for your child. Your child will see by the dates of the letters when you were thinking of them and sending encouragement for their lives.
2. Open a private Facebook page. On this page you can upload letter video’s, post encouragement of love, pride, and hope you have for them. If the other parent does not allow you to participate in important events of the child, you can still share your pride in your child on the date and time of the event.
3. Keep is Short & Sweet. The letters do not have to be long. A few paragraphs can express your feelings and prayers for your children. By keeping it brief, you will find it easier to keep the focus on your children and away from your own personal feelings of betrayal and injustice.
4. Share. When the time is right, you can give them the password and they can read your words in real time.
What to write? Write what is in your heart.
1. Put Your Child First. The purpose to open a email account or facebook page is for the emotional good of your child. This is not a place discuss the litigation or prove your point of view for the divorce, time sharing, or separation of assets. The purpose is to give tangible gift of love to your children.
2. Do not Disparage the Other Parent. These letters are for your child to feel love and support. You do not want your child to feel shame, guilt or angry at the other parent.
3. The Ultimate Purpose. The ultimate purpose is for child to treasure these letters, so that they can re-read them years later. Maybe they will be part of a keepsake box that they will share with their children. They will always have these letters that will a reminder how special they are to you.
4. Keep in Mind. Remember if you decide to share these letters while your children are still minors, these letters can be used in future litigation. However, if you keep it positive, do not discuss the litigation, and do not disparage the other parent, then your letters will be innocuous and harmless.